would've been so happy
by plutoondeck
Summary: maya and zay hit a stalemate in their "relationship". (maya x zay, slight maya x josh)


would've been so happy.

summary: maya and zay hit a stalemate in their "relationship".

a/n: let's show Maya some love... or not. this was originally a "take me home" one-shot, but only finished it half way before starting another chapter. afterwards, it didn't really mesh with the rest of the series, but since it was almost done, i decided to post it as a stand alone.

rated T for love.

disclaimer: i do not own girl meets world nor Taylor Swift's "the moment i knew".

* * *

 _You should've been there,_  
 _Should've burst through the door,_  
 _With that 'baby I'm right here' smile,_  
 _And it would've felt like,_  
 _A million little shining stars had just aligned,_  
 _And I would've been so happy._

* * *

"Happy birthday Maya!" Isadora Smackle greets the blonde twenty year old as Maya walks in the good old coffee shop. Maya smiles and thanks her longtime friend. It's not really her birthday, but it's a little after New Years, and she's has to return to school tomorrow for her fourth semester of college. Her best friend Riley insisted on celebrating her birthday a little early. Maya didn't particularly care, but Riley wanted to have a party. It was in Topanga's and a lot of the kids they grew up with were there. It was practically a high school reunion (of all the kids Maya cared about at least). Riley's Uncle Josh was even there with his college sweetheart.

There was just one person that wasn't there...

Zay Babineuax.

Maya couldn't help but be a little disappointed. She keeps imagining that he's just late, and he's going to be bursting through the door any minute now.

"Maaaayaaaa," he'd sing. He'll do a little dance, a piroutte, and maybe a leap if he was feeling fancy. He'll give her that charming smile, and she'll feel like an angel.

However, he wasn't there. Somewhere in her head, she knew that he wouldn't be.

* * *

 _Christmas lights glisten,_  
 _I've got my eye on the door,_  
 _Just waiting for you to walk in,_  
 _But the time is ticking._

* * *

"This is quite the shindig," Maya comments as she looks around Topanga's. It was still decorated with lights for the holiday season. Riley smiles at her best friend and wraps her arms around her. Lucas and Farkle are sitting adjacent to them. All their old high school friends are lingering around them catching up with each other.

"I'm glad you like it!" She says gleefully. The two boys smile amused at the two of them.

"Thanks for coming guys, it means a lot," she says genuinely. The boys nod.

"Of course we're here. We've been best friends for years," Lucas starts.

"Yeah, there's no way, we'd miss a chance to hang out with you," Farkle finishes. Maya chuckles. "What's so funny?"

"Not everyone feels that way about me," her eyes linger on the door.

"Oh Maya," Riley cooes leaning her head against Maya's shoulder.

"Josh is an idiot," Farkle reassures her. She looks at the door and realizes that Josh and his girlfriend are standing close by.

"I wasn't talk about Josh," she whispers. Riley gives her a sympathetic look.

"He'll be here," Lucas encourages her. She wants to believe him, but somehow she knows that she shouldn't hope.

* * *

 _People ask me how I've been_  
 _As I comb back through my memory,_  
 _How you said you'd be here,_  
 _You said you'd be here._

* * *

"Maya, it's been so long!" Missy Bradford pulls the smaller girl into a hug. Maya raises her eyebrow at Riley from across the room.

'Missy, serious?' she silently questioned Riley. The other girl shrugged.

'It was an accident,' she silently replies as Missy releases Maya.

"Yeah," Maya returns her attention to Missy. "It's been a while."

"How have you been? I hear you go to some art school?" Maya can't help to smile thinking about her school.

"Yeah, it's great. How's Syracuse," she asks not really caring about the answer.

"It's great! I'm in this great sorority! That's how I met my boyfriend Jacob—" Maya resists the urge to rolls her eyes, and proceeds to tune out Missy while scrolling through her text messages.

 _To: MaYaHART_  
 _From: Zaybaybay_  
12:00am  
 _Message:_ Happy Birthday Blonde Beautiful Perfection!

 _To: Zaybaybay_  
 _From: MaYaHART_  
12:02am  
 _Message:_ Thanks bae :)

 _To: Zaybaybay_  
 _From: MaYaHART_  
3:01pm  
 _Message:_ Are you coming tonight?

 _To: MaYaHART_  
 _From: Zaybaybay_  
3:55pm  
 _Message:_ Definitely! I got family things first, so I'll be late.

 _To: Zaybaybay_  
 _From: MaYaHART_  
3:57pm  
 _Message:_ Oh okay.

 _To: MaYaHART_  
 _From: Zaybaybay_  
4:00pm  
 _Message:_ I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world! Miss your pretty face.

She looks at the ridiculous nicknames they gave each other in middle school. She wonders if she should change them. She wonders when he'll be there.

* * *

 _And it was like slow motion,_  
 _Standing there in my party dress,_  
 _In red lipstick,_  
 _With no one to impress._

* * *

"You look beautiful" Josh says. It's just the two of them, and although thirteen year old Maya would have swoon, twenty year old Maya just smiles bitterly.

"Thanks," she says with more sarcasm than she intended and looks anywhere but at him. Josh just shakes his head and smiles.

"You know," he begins.

"Know what?"

"Whoever, you're waiting for, is an idiot." She does a double take at him.

"I'm not waiting for anyone," she vindicates.

"Sure you aren't. The door is just far more interesting than me," he smiles that signature heart melting smile of his, and Maya can't help but be swept off her feet.

"No, I—"

"Maya, the asshole who stood you up... he's not worth it. He doesn't deserve you." He presses a kiss on her cheek leaving her blushing. "Happy Birthday gorgeous."

* * *

 _And they're all laughing,_  
 _As I'm looking around the room,_  
 _But there's one thing missing,_  
 _And that was the moment I knew._

* * *

Maya can hear Riley far a distance, but the blonde girl is sitting by the window watching the street. Maya watched as her best friend flirted with Lucas Friar. She couldn't help but feel a little of jealous of the two. They've been tip-toeing around each other for year, and even now, they were "just friends". Yet, you can see it in their eyes. For them, there wasn't anybody else in the world who could compare.

Why couldn't she and Zay be like them? Their story was almost as long as Rucas. Maya Hart so desperately wanted to have what she saw Riley had. She sighed running her fingers through her hair. She felt pathetic. How did she ever let it get like this?

It started in high school, she guesses, in Topanga's no less. Riley had been away one weekend visiting her grandmother in Pittsburgh. She's sitting alone doing homework when Zay, Lucas, and Farkle walk into the coffee shop. They immediately spot Maya and sit with her. In an instant, homework is forgotten and she's joking and laughing with the three boys.

After a couple hours, they all decide to part ways. Katy's closing up the shop, so Maya helps her out by locking up all the outside chairs. She sees Zay sitting on the stairs with his head in his hands.

"You alright there?' she calls out. He jumps up surprised by her voice.

"Jesus, blondie, you scared the bejesus outta me," he smiles. She can see through it though and knows he's hiding something. She puts down the chair she's holding and sits with him.

"What's wrong Ranger Zay?" she teases.

"Nothing to concern your pretty little head," he flirts as he pets her head. Usually if Farkle or Lucas tried to pull this stunt with her, she would've hit them, but something with Zay's action is comforting. So she lets it slide.

"We're friends right?" The words come out before she can even process what she's saying. He raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah, of course," he smiles falsely.

"Then friends talk," she says adamantly. "So talk." His smiles falter, but he begins to divulge all his secrets to her. He was sitting outside because his dad's girlfriend had kicked him out for "being sassy". He had already stayed with Lucas twice in the last couple of weeks, so he was just waiting for a little while before sneaking back into his house. Maya didn't know what came over her, but she invites him to spend the night with her and her mom (and Granny Angela).

He graciously accepts her offer. He walks home with Maya and Katy. Katy retires to bed as soon as they get home. Granny is already asleep, so Zay helps Maya open the pull out bed. She gives him pillows and tells him to make himself right at home. They share idle talk as they do this. Finally, it's a little before midnight when Maya yawns.

"You can go to bed," Zay assures her with a grin.

"You're okay out here?" She questions. He nods. "Alright, I'm heading out." she stands up, and Zay follows suit.

"Imma walk you to your room" he shrugs addressing the confusion on her face. They walk in silence. She opens her door and turns around. He leans against the doorframe.

"Thank you," he whispers sincerely.

"You're welcome," she whispers back. They stare into each others eyes, and the next thing she knows, his lips are on hers.

It feels nice.

* * *

 _And the hours pass by,_  
 _Now I just wanna be alone,_  
 _But your close friends always seem to know_  
 _When there's something really wrong,_  
 _So they follow me down the hall,_  
 _And there in the bathroom,_  
 _I try not to fall apart,_  
 _And the sinking feeling starts,_  
 _As I say hopelessly,_  
 _"He said he'd be here."_

* * *

It's been three hours since the party started, and he's still not there. Maya feels her chest tightening. Lucas and Riley are watching her from a far. Josh carefully approaches the not-couple.

"Hey Riles, I think Maya needs you," Josh says glancing over at the blonde who's moved from one window to another. At least, Darby and Sarah are there so she was being social. Riley sighs.

"Not yet," Riley says knowingly. Josh flashes her a concern stare, but Riley smiles softly. "Trust me. I'll be there when she wants me to be. Not right now though. She's busy." She nods towards the two girls conversing with the birthday girl.

"Girls," he mutters. He turns to Lucas. "Amirite?" Lucas chuckles.

"I plead the fifth," he raises both hands up in surrender. Riley rolls her eyes and notices that Maya's staring out the window again. Sarah and Darby have pulled her into a conversation. She's smiling at them, but Riley can see through her facade.

"I think you should talk to her," Riley tells Lucas. He raises an eyebrow at his would be girlfriend.

"What?"

"Come on Lucas. You know why she's sad."

"Look, _my best friend_ is an idiot, but she's _your best friend_." He emphasized on the best friend portion of the sentence.

"Lucas," she said seriously. He sighed knowing that tone. It was the "I'm-Riley-Matthews-and-I'm-not-taking-any-of-your-shit-right-now" tone.

"Fine," he scowls at her. She smiles easily and kisses him on the cheek.

"Thanks babe!" She pushes him towards Maya. By this time, Darby and Sarah are engaged in an one-on-one conversation. He sits down next to her.

"Hey," he says awkwardly. She looks up at him.

"Hey Huckleberry," she says sadly. He doesn't have the heart to be annoyed at her.

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Riley really outdid herself." She smiles across the room at her best friend. She chuckles inwardly when she notices that Riley looks away fast. "You ever gonna ask her out?"

"Actually, I'm planning to surprise her for Valentine's day," he confesses. Maya nods.

"About time," she scoffs. He just smiles. "I'm happy for you guys," there's a tint of sadness in her voice.

"He's gonna be here," he lies. He doesn't even know if he will be.

"He's not coming." She dismisses him. She stands up and runs towards the back kitchen. Riley watching the whole thing follows after her.

* * *

 _And it was like slow motion,_  
 _Standing there in my party dress,_  
 _In red lipstick,_  
 _With no one to impress,_  
 _And they're all laughing,_  
 _And asking me about you,_  
 _But there was one thing missing,_  
 _And that was the moment I knew._

* * *

Their senior year of high school is when things really took off. They had shared a few kisses since that first kiss that night. She's 18 and he's 17 when they lose their virginities to each other. It was suppose to be something special, but for Maya, it didn't feel like anything had changed. She never considered him her boyfriend, and he never called her his girlfriend.

When they went off to college, she realized that they never really talked much while they were in different states. They maybe spoke a couple times on the phone, otherwise most of their communication was drunken snapchats and text messages. When they came back to New York for breaks, they spend all their free time together. She thought that was enough.

She was always so independent, so she though that maybe their relationship was normal.

However, Riley and Lucas were just like them, but according to Riley, they spoke every single day. Her exact words were, "he's always there for me." She wondered how Riley found that appealing? To Maya, that sounded suffocating.

She didn't expect much from Zay.

She did expect that he'll be there for her, but to be honest, she wasn't all to surprised by his nonappearance.

* * *

 _What do you say_  
 _When tears are streaming down your face_  
 _In front of everyone you know?_  
 _And what do you do when the one_  
 _Who means the most to you_  
 _Is the one who didn't show?_

* * *

"Maya?" Riley's voice breaks her out of her trance. Maya looks up from the floor where she collapse on the kitchen floor.

"Rrr—Riley?" she stutters. Tears start streaming down her face, effectively ruining her make-up.

"Oh Maya!" Riley falls to the ground with her. Maya buries her face into Riley's shoulder and hugs her tightly. Years of repressed sobs finally find their way out. Maya isn't surprised that Zay hasn't showed up, but it hurts nontheless. Farkle and Lucas soon find their way towards the back. They find Riley and Maya on the floor.

"What happened?" Farkle asks immediately dropping to the floor and taking one of her hands. He looks at Lucas who simply mouthes 'Zay'. Farkle feels his blood boiling, but says nothing as he rubs circles into Maya's hand.

"We got you," Riley soothes. Maya just heaves letting out it all out.

* * *

 _You should've been here._  
 _And I would've been so happy._

 _And it was like slow motion,_  
 _Standing there in my party dress,_  
 _In red lipstick,_  
 _With no one to impress,_  
 _And they're all standing around me singing_  
 _"Happy birthday to you",_  
 _But there was one thing missing,_  
 _And that was the moment I knew._

* * *

After a while, Maya and Riley pick each other off the floor. Farkle is sent out to distract the party so no one would notice the absence of the birthday girl. Lucas runs up to the Matthew's apartment to grab Riley's make-up bag. The two girls quickly fix her make-up and go out back to the party.

As soon as Maya returns to the party, Isadora and Farkle are holding up a cake with her name on it. She smiles happily at everyone who start singing at her. She looks at everyone there.

Riley. Lucas. Farkle. Isadora. Josh. Josh's girlfriend (Kendra maybe?). Missy. Darby. Sarah. Billy. Dave. Yogi. Charlie. Auggie. Ava. Her mom. Shawn. Mr. Matthews. Mrs. Matthew. Uncle Eric. Tommy.

All these people cared about her, and for a girl who grew up with abandonment issues, she felt loved. Yet when she looked at the empty space next to Lucas, she can't help but to feel sad.

* * *

 _You called me later,  
_ _And said, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it,"  
_ _And I said, "I'm sorry too,"  
_ _And that was the moment I knew._

* * *

Maya's sitting by her window while Riley is sound asleep on Maya's bed. After the party ended, the two of them returned to Katy's apartment so Maya could finish packing. Afterwards, they talked. Riley asked her if she was alright following her breakdown, but Maya said she didn't care that Zay never showed. She leaned against the window pane and looked up to the moon.

She didn't care, she swore.

Her phone vibrates and she reaches out for it. A familiar face stares up at her, and she briefly wonders if she should answer. She shakes her head and presses the green button.

"Hello..?" her voice cracks a little bit.

"Maya," his voice is serious she can tell. "I'm so sorry. Look something came up," he goes on with some dull story about how his aunt's power went out. She's hearing him, but not really listening. He finishes his story, and it's silent on the line.

"Maya?" he breaks the tension.

"Yeah?"

"I'm so sorry," he apologizes again.

"Yeah, me too." She hangs up without another word. She clutches the phone against her chest. She wants to cry, but there's nothing left. He calls again, but she doesn't pick up this time.


End file.
